You Ain't Gettin' Shit For Christmas! (bleeped) - Red Peters
You Ain't Gettin' Diddly Squat - Heywood Banks f/ The Heylettes
Puffy Got Run Over - Crazy Al Cayne
Have Yourself An Ozzy Little Christmas - Bob Rivers
Let's Have A Patrick Swayze Christmas - from Mystery Science Theater 3000
My Relatives Are Comin' - The American Comedy Network
Texas Chainsaw Christmas - Dr. Elmo
Christmas Cut-Up (2002) - Whimsical Will
Another White Christmas - Tim Cavanagh
The War Of The Lights - The Therapy Sisters
I Want An Alien For Christmas - Fountains Of Wayne
Django Bells (brief excerpt) - The Hombres
Boob Job For Christmas - Virginia Kegel
All I Want For Christmas (Is My Two Front Teeth) - Spike Jones & His City Slickers
Rudolph The Brown Nose Reindeer - Rudy & The Reindeer
The Twelve Pains Of Christmas - Bob Rivers Comedy Corp
Osama Got Run Over By A Reindeer - Bob Rivers
Christmas Is Revolting (And so are the elves) - The Tuna Observatory
Merry Christmas You Suckers - Paddy Roberts
The Nine Warning Signs Of Christmas - Slaw
Wreck The Halls With Boughs Of Holly - The Three Stooges
Wreck The Malls - Bob Rivers Comedy Corp
Christmas In Jail - The Bobs
Dearest Mr. Santa Claus - Heywood Banks
Santa's Beard - The Beach Boys
Ballad Of 67 Santas - Percival W. Swartz & The Santa Assault Team
The Twelve Days Of Christmas (excerpt) - The Mushroom Tab. Choir
Santa Doesn't Cop Out On Dope - Sonic Youth
I Farted On Santa's Lap - The Little Stinkers
The Pretty Little Dolly - Mona Abboud
#5 Christmas Balls - Ben Light & His Surf Club Boys
#4 Frosty The Dopeman - Marc Zydiak
#3 Rusty Chevrolet - Da Yoopers
#2 Ding, Fries Are Done - Billy
#1 The Night Santa Went Crazy (extra gory version) - "Weird Al" Yankovic
next week: Christmas part 4/4 plus Hanukkah