Stress - Jim Infantino

contributed by Audrey Rosen, September 23, 1994

Copyright 1993 by Jim Infantino
available on his CD Strawman, and also on Dr. Demento's Basement Tapes No. 3 (CD and CS) available to Demento Society members only

Chorus:
I'm addicted to stress that's the way that I get things done,
If I'm not under pressure then I sleep too long
And I hang around like a bum
And I think I'm goin' nowhere and that makes me nervous.

I'm addicted to stress it's the way that I get things done,
If I'm not under pressure then I sleep too long
And I hang around like a bum
I think I'm goin' nowhere and that makes me nervous.

Ev'rybody's out to get me but I feel all right,
Ev'rybody's out to get me but I feel all right,
Ev'rybody's out to get me but I feel all right,
Ev'rybody's thinkin' 'bout me... (It's the little things that getcha,
It's the little things that getcha when you weren't payin' attention,
It's the little things that getcha, It's the little things that getcha,
It's the little things that getcha when you weren't payin' attention.)

I'm tryin' to cut down on my caffeine consumption
So when I get up I just have one cuppa coffee
And I like to have another cuppa coffee with my breakfast
And on the way to work I like to get a cuppa coffee
Like the kinda cuppa coffee that you get with a donut,
'Cept I never get the donut I just have the cuppa coffee
And when I get to work I like to have a cuppa coffee
'Cause I like to have a coffee when I'm talkin' on the phone.
But it usually goes cold and I need to get another cuppa coffee
And it's lunch and I have an ESPRESSO...

And when I get back it's not morning anymore
So I have a diet cola and another diet cola
And by then I'm feelin' fine and I'm feelin' pretty sharp
And I'm feelin' pretty wired and I'm gettin' things done,
But right about two I get this little tiny migraine
And it starts behind my eyes and it moves up the back of my neck
And it moves to the bottom of my spine
But it doesn't get there till five or six o'clock
Which is the end of the day, so I'm FINE so I'm FINE so I'm FINE...
Except when I have to work late, when I have to work late
Which I usually do.

(Chorus)

I love to work I love to run I love to play real hard,
I love to steal little things from the grocery store,
Like a piece of bubble gum, or sometimes I just stick
My thumb in a peach and leave it there...
I love to work I love to run, love to water ski, snowboard,
Jet ski, skydive, parasail, hang glide,
Rollerblade, mountain bike, bungee jump,
Well I mean I'd love to do these things if I ever had the time,
I love to work I love to work I love to work out after work
I love to spend a little time with this woman that I'm seein'
'Cept we never really get a little time to spend together
So we call each other up and we talk about work.

But what I think I'd really love is to get out by myself
On a little tiny island in the middle of the ocean,
With just me and a book and a cellular phone,
And a personal computer in case something came up,
And I'd eat and I'd drink and I'd run and I'd sleep
And I wouldn't do nothin' 'cept swim all day,
'Cept I don't know how to do laps in the ocean,
Where are the SHARKS? Where are the SHARKS?
And there's this kind of ANEMONE, that sticks in your foot
And the poison goes up to your BRAIN, and you DIE,
And SAND FLEAS, SAND FLEAS, YUCK!

But actually I think it'd be really relaxing
Just me by myself in the middle of the ocean,
And that's what I'd really love to do
More than anything else, 'cept I'd probably hate it.

(Chorus)

Ev'rybody's out to get me but I feel all right,
Ev'rybody's out to get me but I feel all right,
Ev'rybody's out to get me but I feel all right,
Ev'rybody's thinkin' bout me
Ev'rybody's thinkin' bout me
Ev'rybody's thinkin' bout meeeeeee.....


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