Stinky Breath - Doctor Badbreath

published by Pet-Mac Publishing (Pro)
available on Tourin' The Two-Step, Mustard Records M-1010, 1982

Now friends I think I'm a pretty fair man
But one damn thing that I can't stand
When yer hustlin' bustlin' lookin' for a date
And it doesn't really matter if her head's a little late
'Cause ya turn the lights real low at night
And ya grab 'er by the fat and ya pinch 'er tight
A wormin' and a squirmin' but she never gets loose
'Cause ya both know yer lookin' for a Christmas goose
And ya both kinda think you've had enough cheap wine
'Cause ya tied 'er up with binder twine
And ya bend right over put yer face real close
But yer eyes roll back and ya stop...

'Cause she's got stinky breath! Stinky...stinky...stinky
Somethin' like grandpa dropped a rose
But more like cousin Ethel's toes
Stinky breath! Stinky...stinky.

Now I like going to the old barn dance
'Cause I get to wear a watch and my fancy pants
And I two step, three step, promenade
And I get real drunk and I get real odd
And I look fer the honey with the real big front
And I wanna pick 'er up like an elephant's trunk
So I feed 'er and I gave 'er liquor all night long
I took 'er outside, I showed 'er my song
But she fell right back and she hit the muck
Ya can't pass up the opportunity to get a lucky little kiss
So ya pucker up and get real close
But yer eyes roll back and ya stop...

'Cause she's got stinky breath! Stinky...stinky...stinky
Somethin' like bottled Truck le Dump
But more like eau Chateau le Skunk
Stinky breath! Stinky...stinky

Now I'm not playin' too hard to get
And I don't really care if she don't wanna pet
And I ain't too picky when it comes to clothes
And the same thing goes for her big thick nose
And her wrinkled lips and her horse like tongue
And her eye ball, even though there's only one
And her legs full of hair, and leather like skin
Or the crack in her head where the weather gets in
'Cause I love that honey with the real big front
And I love it when we snuggle up in my old bunk
But I'm gettin' kinda tired of gettin' so damn close
That my eyes roll back and I stop...

'Cause she's got stinky breath! Stinky..stinky..stinky
Somethin' like grandpa droppped a rose
But more like cousin Ethel's toes
Stinky breath! Stinky...stinky...stinky
Somethin' like bottled Truck le Dump
But more like eau Chateau le Skunk
Stinky breath! Stinky...stinky...stinky
Somethin' like horses feet and hay
But more like jersey cow pate
Stinky breath! Stinky...stinky...

P-U!


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