Date: Fri, 11 Mar 1994 15:55:42 -0500 (EST)
From: Daniel R Cormier

Squirrels

Available on: Dr. Demento's Basement Tapes No. 5 (available through The Demento Society, see FAQ for more info)

THE BEASTLY BOYS ARE:

• Ron Friedman (Lead Squirrel, Backup)
• Chip Craig (Keyboard, Drum Machine, Backup Squirrel)
• Steve Bencich (Backup Squirrel)

Written at a photomat after school, and recorded at Chip's apartment on his 4-track in Phoenix, Arizona. "Squirrels" was partially inspired by a Xerox copy of a knockwurst but that's another story.

Ron Friedman (lead squirrel) can be reached at waldo@indirect.com

Squirrels
All we really are is squirrels
We're being hunted, we are squirrels
We are appealing, we are squirrels

We want to gather nuts
But people splatter our guts
When they're on a country drive
It isn't easy to survive

Back in the other day
I saw a squirrel get blown away
They served him on a dinner tray
They baked him into a souffle
Squirrel season opens up today
If you're a squirrel run away
I don't know what else I should say
Please call the ASPCA

Fur coats from us are made
Fur is nice but I like suede
They scrape our fur off with a blade
And never bother with first aid
We squirrels really like to play
And we like to catch some rays
Please don't kill us this we pray
We're cute and harmless anyway

Alvin, Simon, Theodore are gay.
[Note: above line was edited out by Dr. Demento for radio play]

Squirrels We're not delicious
Squirrels We are not raccoons
Squirrels Don't live in palm trees
Squirrels Or in your bathroom
Squirrels That's all we really are is...
Squirrels Isn't it fine I am a...
Squirrel Please help and save us we are...
Squirrels I wanna whip out my...
Squirrel
Squirrels
Squirrels Squirrels Squirrels Squirrels...
Squirrels Squirrels Squirrels Squirrels...
Squirrels!