Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason to live.
They got little hands,
Little eyes,
They walk around tellin' great big lies.
They got little noses,
Tiny little teeth,
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty little feet.
Well I don't want no short people
Don't want no short people
Don't want no short people 'round here.
(Short people are just the same as you and I.)
A fool such as I.
(All men are brothers until the day they die.)
It's a wonderful world.
Short people got nobody
Short people got nobody
Short people got nobody to love
They got little baby legs
They stand so low
You got to pick 'em up
Just to say hello.
They got little cars
That go beep beep beep.
They got little voices
Goin' peep peep peep.
They got grubby little fingers
And dirty little minds.
They're gonna get you
Every time.
Well I don't want no short people
Don't want no short people
Don't want no short people 'round here.
Tall people got no reason
Tall people just ain't God pleasin'
Tall people got no reason to live.
They got giant heads,
And billboard faces,
Elephant teeth
With great big spaces,
Hockey stick legs
Without any hair.
They got skinny little butts
Hangin' in the air.
I don't want no tall people,
No basketball people.
Hooray for short people down here.
Tall people ain't never got no place to sit.
Ain't got a pot.
Their knobby knees squeak and creak a lot.
It's a shoemaker world.
Tall people got nobody
'Cause tall people are all body
Tall people got nobody to love.
They got one big girl
They pass around.
They sit and mope
When she's out of town.
They got king sized beds
With oversized sheets.
Canoe sized shoes
On both their feet.
They got King Kong arms
They drag around.
Their knuckles are sore
From scrapin' the ground.
I don't want no tall people,
No basketball people.
Hooray for short people down here.
They got quicker hands
And quicker eyes
They're build lower to the ground
Got better balance for their size
They eat much less food
They breathe much less air
They're much smarter with their money
And only pay half-fare
Well I
Just want more short people
Must have more short people
I need more short people round here
(Short people are so much better than you and I.)
They're just the right size
(Some of my closest friends barely reach my thighs.)
Its such a small world
Short people got more reason
Short people got more reason
Short people got more reason to live.
They look further away
Than they really are.
They don't crowd your space,
Get a dozen in a car.
They'll give you all they got
If you give 'em half a chance.
It takes much less time
To press their pants.
They look down at no one,
They live longer lives.
You know they're just a bunch of
Crazy little guys
Well I
Just want more short people
I need more short people
I'd pay for short people round me.
Yes I would.
Chaplin
Napoleon
Olga Korbut
(Short people)
Pacino and Hoffman
Billy Barty
Paul Simon
(Short people)
Carrie Fisher
Rod Stewart
Willie Shoemaker
Former Major Abe Beame
(Short people)
Mickey Rooney
Alan Ladd
Belushi, Cagney and Coozy
Toulouse-Lautrec
(Short people)
Judy Garland
Artie Johnson
Peter Lorre
Chris Reeve
(Short people)
Mason Reese
Rodney Allen Rippy
(Short people)
Truman Capote
Bella Abzug
Norman Mailer
Shirley Temple Black
(Short people)
Geraldo Rivera
Brenda Lee
Robert Blake
Paul Williams
(Short people)
Louisa May Alcott
Bobby Short
Tom Hayden and
(Short people)
Tom Thumb
Ricky Schroeder
Gummo
(Short people)
Groucho
Chico
Harpo
Zeppo
I need
Short people on me.