The Battle of Kookamonga - Homer & Jethro

entered by Mostly Harmless (scraver@shentel.net)

parody of "The Battle of New Orleans" by Johnny Horton
available on Dr. Demento - 20th Anniversary Collection, Rhino CD/cassette 70743, 1991

In Nineteen and Fifty-Nine we took a little hike,
With our scout master down to Lake Anigganike.
We took a little pizza and we took some sauerkrauts,
And we marched along together 'til we heard the girl scouts.

Chorus:
We're the boys from Camp Kookamonga,
Our mothers sent us here for to study nature's ways.
We learn to make sparks by rubbing sticks together,
But if we catch the girls, then we'll set the woods ablaze!
(...and I was mad 'cause me mother sent me up here... hahahaha!)

Well, we crept up to the water and we seed the girls a-swimmin',
There must have been a hundred of them pretty young women.
They looked so fine, even birds forgot to sing,
We laid down in the poison oak, an' didn't say a thing.

Chorus:
We're the boys from Camp Kookamonga,
Our mothers sent us here for to study nature's ways.
We learn to make sparks by rubbing sticks together,
But if we catch the girls, then we'll set the woods ablaze!
(Hey, will one of you fellers scratch my back?)

Well our counsellor said we could take 'em by surprise,
If we didn't say a word 'til we looked 'em in the eyes.
We kept a real still, an' we kept our eyes a-glued,
We saw how they were dressed, they were swimmin' in the... WELL NOW...

Chorus:
We're the boys from Camp Kookamonga,
Our mothers sent us here for to study nature's ways.
We learn to make sparks by rubbing sticks together,
But if we catch the girls, then we'll set the woods ablaze!

Well, they ran through the briars an' they ran through the brambles,
An' they ran through the bushes where a rabbit couldn't go.
They ran so fast, even we couldn't catch 'em,
From Lake Anigganike, all the way to Buffalo!
(Ahey, fellers! Wait for me!)

Well we ran right after them 'til everyone was pooped,
So we rested for a minute and our forces we'd regroup.
Then we saw the girls, behind some evergreens,
Captured by a company of United States Marines.

Chorus:
We're the boys from Camp Kookamonga,
Our mothers sent us here for to study nature's ways.
We learn to make sparks by rubbing sticks together,
But if we catch the girls, then we'll set the woods ablaze!
(Ah, them big guys get everything...)

Well, they ran through the briars an' they ran through the brambles,
An' they ran through the bushes where a rabbit couldn't go,
They ran so fast, even we couldn't catch 'em,
From Lake Anigganike, all the way to Buffalo!

Scoutmaster: A-rooty-toot-toot!
Scouts: A-rooty-toot-toot!
We are the boys from the Boy Scout troup!
We don't smoke, and we don't chew,
And we don't go with the girls that do!
Ooh! Arthur!
Ooh! Ooh!