Transcribed by Gwyneth [Princess WhiteGoat] Kozbial, June 1995 revised by Annie Sattler based on lyrics printed in the LP
I have personally won over...
Well, looking like a muscle man, you crawled out from a swamp.
Slimy wild, you honey child, give me your hump!
You done my brain in, woraaaggh! You done my brain in! Right in!
And I just can't handle it. Woh!
You done my brain in!
Hallelujah!
Don't kiss me with your silver lip, don't kiss me with your eye.
For God's sake, gimme a break, let me crawl away and die!
You done my brain in, woraaaggh! You done my brain in! Right in!
And I just can't handle it. Woorrraaagh...
"Keynsham"
(N. Innes)
Lipstick gleam, Hexachloraphine,
Cling-cling the ring, clang-clang, she sang.
It's tragic magic. There are no coincidences.
But sometimes, the pattern is more obvious.
REPEAT
...
Keynsham... tell me more about Keynsham...
I don't want to talk about it.
I can't think of it.
"Quiet Talks and Summer Walks"
(N. Innes)
They pass me by in quiet talk.
Hand in hand on a summer walk.
They don't think they're overheard.
But I hear their every word.
She wants to know if he will love her 'til the day he dies.
But how can he see the future when he's looking in her eyes?
I was born in the spring of this year.
Warmed by the sun and the wind that brought me here.
There's no expression on my face.
And no footsteps leave my trace.
They pass me by in quiet talk.
Hand in hand on a summer walk.
"Tent"
(V. Stanshall)
I'm gonna get you in my tent-tent-tent-tent-tent
Where we can both experiment-ment-ment-ment-ment.
Yeah, yeah, it's so convenient-ent-ent-ent-ent.
Let's take a taxi to my tent.
Oh yeah, my love is so inscrutable.
In a stoic sort of way.
But my baby is as beautiful
As a tourniquet...
I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna,
I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna,
I'm gonna get you in my tent-tent-tent-tent-tent.
Whoa-whoa, it's only common sense-sense-sense-sense-sense.
I know that you won't mind the stench-stench-stench-stench-stench
Of the sacrament...
No, I won't let this love destroy her.
I can't control this paranoia.
I'll have to get a show-biz lawyer
To stop me.
Kill, smash, bash, thrill, spill, blood, fight, bite, scratch, scream,
tear, spit, shout... TENT! TENT! TENT!
Yeah, I'll be laughing like a lunatic that just got away.
I'm howling like a hypocrite at an Auto-Da-Fe'.
I'm gonna get you in my tent-tent-tent-tent-tent.
We'll find out where the Woozle went-went-went-went-went.
We'll fill his footprints with cement-ment-ment-ment-ment.
We'll dance the tango in my tent.
"We Were Wrong"
(V. Stanshall)
We were wrong. We were wrong.
But so young, and so-o in lo-o-ove.
That boozy English day at the Brighton Race Courses
The wind blew my skirt up, and it frightened the horses.
We were wrong, we were wrong,
But so young, and so very in love.
That May-Ball in Oxford we arrived in a punt.
You fell down in the beer-tent, unashamedly drunk (steady up!).
We were wrong, we were wrong,
But so young, and so awf'ly in love.
'Cos I'm going to Rhino over your lino.
I'm going to Rhino with you...
In all kinds of leather, we Rhino together.
We'll keep Rhino-ing through.
The kedgeree breakfasts, the gratis champagne.
The hours I spent wiping it off my hired D.J.
We were wrong, we were wrong,
But so young, and so frightfully in love.
We were wrong, we were wrong,
But so young, and so desperately in love.
"Joke Shop Man"
(N. Innes)
The joke shop man has lots of gags, like plastic ears, exploding fags.
A million laughs to give your friends a treat. (hoho, hehe, haha)
The joke shop man has lots of gags, he wraps them up in paper bags.
Like sneezing powder, snakes, and rubber feet.
Joke shop man, help me if you can.
It's all so very hard to understand.
Joke shop man, make me Desperate Dan....
"The Bride Stripped Bare By 'Bachelors'"
(V. Stanshall/ N. Innes)
So the boys got together and formed a band.
Fate played the straight man, and since then, they've never looked back.
You lads, welcome to Club Beat. I've seen you on the telly, with your long hair and pimples.
We arrived at the gig looking rough.
Not happy, we'd all had enough
Of eight hours on the road.
"Legs Larry," said, "Ee, it's the boozer for me, dear boy."
Yip, yip, yes indeed...
And the hotel reception was empty and cold,
With horrid red wallpaper forty years old.
It stank like a rhino house.
Mr. Slater said, "Pooh, I can smell Vindaloo."
Oh, really? "No, sir, O'Reilley!"
And we waved to the people who frowned
At our hair as we ride into town.
And Chalky and Noz set up the gear
At the club where the "Do-Pal Show" would appear
In person as themselves (Woof, woof!).
In person as themselves.
And Neil, Fred, and I played darts for awhile
Before we switched on our theatrical smiles.
Hey... you remember...
You can have a drink in your dressing room, lads, but you can't come into club looking like that. You can't live life like that. Hey, redneck! We've had 'em all here, y'know! Tommie Ray... There's a brand new scratch on that piano. It'll cost me 75 quid to put that right. Whoowhodidthat? blahblah... and Buddy Greeky. blahblah. Will you take your empty glasses back to the bar? Any artiste mixing in a rumble will be paid off immediately. Hoovah... It's not for m'self, lads. It's for me to order. Five pints of lager, and one coke! Not me, lads, it's the manager in the next room...
"Look at Me, I'm Wonderful"
(V. Stanshall)
Look at me, I'm wondrful... shooby-dooby-wah...
I'm not a bit like you or you... I'm a super showbiz star...
mm... You all buy my records, so I'd like to say...
Some little old cliche...
like that of...
Hi, everybody, good evening, it's a privelege to be back in your country...
uh...
Two minutes, Mr. Smith!
He's a super, greasy, glossy show-biz star.
In a black tuxedo he looks wunderbar.
He has a slight American accent.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
And his body's so re-laxez.
He'll be with you in a few moments.
The big, black windows in his Yankee car...
Say he's a great, big, super, greasy, glossy, smarmy
show.... biz... star!
Ladies and Gentlemen, the very wonderful... "Legs" Larry Smith!
"What Do You Do?"
(N. Innes)
What do you do?
I don't know, but I know I do it everyday.
Why do you do it?
I don't know, but I know I do it anyway.
I do what I do, indeed I do.
I do what I do every day.
Indeed I do...
I do what I do, indeed I do.
I do what I do every day.
I do what I do.
I am what I am.
We are what we are.
We do what we can.
Why do you do it?
I don't know, but I know I do it every day.
Why do you do it?
I don't know, but I know I do it anyway.
I do what I do, indeed I do.
I do what I do every day.
Indeed, I do...
"Mr. Slater's Parrot"
(V. Stanshall)
Hello, and how did you find yourself this morning?
Well, I just rolled back the sheets, and there I was.
When Mr. Slater's parrot says, "Hello!"
A geezer likes to get one on the go.
We hope to hear him swear.
We love to hear him squeak.
We like to see him biting fingers in his horny beak.
Sometimes he wants to whistle through his nose.
Let's go back to your childhood [echo]...
The odd boy lay down by the football field
Sport, Sport, masculine sport.
Dear Mr. Poxham, would you kindly excuse Steven from games today? He has
had a nasty cold over the weekend and still has headaches and feels a bit
snotty. I don't feel he should be outside with the rougher type of boy, as
he is a little delicate. Hoping you will understand, yours sincerely, Nellie
Maynard, Mrs.
Give him a nice, cold shower.
CHORUS
There are things that must be done,
I want to be with you.
The two of us are one, mother of my son.
CHORUS
No! Don't! Please, not the leg!
[instrumental music]
I'll repeat that...
I'm filthy, I'm hungry, I'm fed up to the teeth.
I think it would do more good to try and understand the other guy.
And then I went and got busted. (yeah)
'Ello, 'Ello... What's all this 'ere?
CHORUS
By the law... By the law... By the law...
Whilst picking up a peanut with his toes.
If Johnny Morris had him on his show,
You'd hear the Fuehrer's favorite say, "HELLO!"
Hello... Hello...
Hello...
[parrot noises]
"Sport (The Odd Boy)"
(V. Stanshall)
Took out a slim volume of Mallarme.
The centre-forward called him an imbecile.
It's an odd boy who doesn't like sport.
Equips a young man for society.
Yes, sport turns out a jolly good sort.
It's an odd boy who doesn't like sport.
"I Want To Be With You"
(N. Innes)
That are not yet begun.
Things that I must do when I want to be with you.
Although we're far apart, you're with me in my heart.
No one else will do. I just want to be with you.
Can you hear me?
I need you near me.
I want to be with you.
I need you near me, my love.
No one else will do. I just want to be with you.
"Noises For the Leg"
(V. Stanshall)
I found the men, sir. God, I wish I hadn't...
"Busted"
(V. Stanshall/ N. Innes)
I'm very revolution'ry. I haven't washed in weeks.
You've seen me dancing topless and kipping on the beach.
I'm so bloody normal, yet I'm one of nature's freaks.
In the soft grey squeeze as they "Mind The Doors"
Like a sacrifice for the minotaur.
All together, in the Blood-Rush Hour.
Come on, Fish-Face, you got the power!
They say I'm maladjusted. (he's a fool)
I never can be trusted by anybody anymore.
Yeahyeahyeah, I got busted. (yeah)
My own mother was disgusted. (she's a fool)
I got busted... by the law.
I'll trim your Wellingtons for you my dear.
I proceeded to plod at a porcupine pace
When I spotted the accused and decided to give chase.
He blotted his copy-book straightaway,
'Cos as soon as he saw me, Whoops! He was away!
Running like a rabbit, or a frisky poodle,
Blowin' his trousers, like a bugle.
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