This file is courtesy of the Demented Music Database at dmdb.org

Mandatory Fun

Contents:
  1. Handy
  2. Lame Claim To Fame
  3. Foil
  4. Sports Song
  5. Word Crimes
  6. My Own Eyes
  7. NOW That's What I Call Polka!
  8. Mission Statement
  9. Inactive
  10. First World Problems
  11. Tacky
  12. Jackson Park Express

Handy

(parody of "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea f/ Charli XCX)

First things first, I'm a craftsman (craftsman)
Remodeling is my only passion (it's my passion)
And I'm the greatest in the business
Want referrals? Yo, my clientele will bear you witness (right right)
I can help when your door jamb sticks (huh?)
There is nothin' in the world I can't fix (yeah)
I do tiles, I do stone, I do bricks
Call me, I'll come rushin' over with my bag o' tricks (bag o' tricks)
Where you go when your disposal is rusted? (rusted)
Termite problem makin' you disgusted? (yuck)
When your front window is busted?
Just one name that's always trusted

I'm so handy
You already know
I'll fix your pluming when your toilets overflow
I'm so handy
Bring you up to code
When your dishwasher's 'bout to 'splode

Now you say that your furnace is needing some service
I'm fully bonded, no need to be nervous
Perhaps you would like a new counter - Formica
Maybe I'll hook up this here combo washer dryer
But all your pipes are antique, you water pressure's too weak
You've got an attic full of dry rot 'cause your roof sprung a leak
Your fridge is starting to reek, your hardwood floors really squeak
But don't you worry, I'll just show you my amazing technique
Now let me glue dat, glue dat - and screw dat, screw dat
Any random chore you've got, well, I can do dat, do dat
Or maybe I'll just rewire your house for fun
I got 99 problems but a switch ain't one

I'm so handy
Everyone said so
I'll grout your bathroom
Resurface your patio
I'm so handy
I'm the guy to know
When your leaf blower
Doesn't blow

Patch the drywall, clean your gutters and mow the lawn
Make that phone call, I'll install anything you want
Yeah, check my big staple gun
My socket wrenches are second to none
I won't quit till I'm done
Don't even care if I hammer my thumb - ow!!

Still rockin' my screwdriver
Got the whole world thinkin' I'm MacGyver
Your heating bills are shocking
I could solve that with some duct tape and some caulking
Your house is a disaster, huh?
Need a guy who's a master with the plaster, huh?
Let me be your stripper
Takin' off lacquer? No one does it quicker

I'm so handy
You already know
I'll beat all price quotes
My hourly rates are low
I'm so handy
You should call this pro
I'm in the phone book
And se habla español

Lame Claim To Fame

(style parody of Southern Culture On The Skids)

One time I was in the checkout line
Behind Steven Seagal
Once I'm pretty sure Mr. Jonah Hill
Was in the very next bathroom stall
My best friend's brother
Well, he was an extra in Wayne's World 2
My neighbor's babysitter
Dated three of the guys in Mötley Crüe
I swear Jack Nicholson
Look right at me at a Lakers game
I got a lame...lame claim to fame
Owooo-wee! Check it out...

I bought a second-hand toaster
From a guy who says he knows Brad Pitt
I got me an e-mail from the Prince of Nigeria
Well, he sure sounded legit
My sister used to take piano lessons
From the second cousin of Ralph Nader
Last year I threw up in an elevator
Next to Christian Slater
Well, guess what? My birthday and Kim Kardashian's
Are exactly the same
I got a lame...lame claim to fame
A really lame...lame claim to fame

Once at a party, my dentist accidentally sneezed on Russell Crowe
I posted "FIRST!" in the comments on a YouTube video
I tried to sit by Steve Buscemi, but he told me "This seat's taken"
I know a guy who knows a guy
Who knows a guy who knows a guy
Who knows a guy who knows Kevin Bacon
Owooo-wee!

I had a car that used to belong
To Cuba Gooding Jr.'s uncle
Friend of mine in high school
Had jury duty with Art Garfunkel
One time I was stayin' in the same hotel
As Zooey Deschanel
I used the same napkin dispenser as Steve Carell
At a Taco Bell
Well, I don't mean to brag, but Paul Giamatti's
Plumber knows me by name
I got a lame...lame claim to fame
A really lame...lame claim to fame
That's right, I'm talkin' lame...lame claim to fame
A really, really, really lame...lame claim to fame
Owooo! Let's get lame, boys!

Foil

(parody of "Royals" by Lorde)

I never seem to finish all my food
I always get a doggy bag from the waiter
So I just keep what's still unchewed
And I take it home, save it for later

But then I deal with fungal rot, bacterial formation
Microbes, enzymes, mold and oxidation
I don't care
I've got a secret trick up my sleeve
I never bother with baggies, glass jars, Tupperware containers
Plastic cling wrap - really a no-brainer
I just like
To keep all my flavors sealed in tight

With aluminum foil
Never settle for less
That kind of wrap is just the best
To keep your sandwich nice and fresh
Stick it in your cooler
Eat it when you're ready
Then maybe you'll choose
A refreshing herbal tea
(spoken: Hmmm...lovely!)

Oh, by the way, I've cracked the code
I figured out these shadow organizations
And the illuminati know
That they're finally primed for world domination

And soon you've got black helicopters comin' 'cross the border
Puppet masters for the New World Order
Be aware
There's always someone that's watching you
And still the government won't admit they faked the whole moon landing
Thought control rays, psychotronic scanning
Don't mind that
I'm protected 'cause I made this hat

From aluminum foil
Wear a hat that's foil-lined
In case an alien's inclined
To probe your butt or read your mind
Looks a bit peculiar
Seems a little crazy
But someday I'll prove
There's a big conspiracy

Sports Song

(style parody of sports team fight songs)

Your sports team is vastly inferior
That simple fact is plainly obvious to see
We're gonna kick your collective posterior
Of course, you realize we're speaking figuratively
Our stats are thoroughly impressive
Our coach really has the Midas touch
Our players are fast and strong and brave
And your guys...(eh) not so much

In fact, we're played teams across the nation
And you're the worst one we've come across
Try to assimilate that information
And it just might help you cope with your impending loss
Oh, and if somehow we are still failing
To effectively articulate the points at hand
Allow us now to summarize them in a manner
That your feeble brains can understand

We're great (we're great!)...and you suck (you suck!)
We're great (we're great!)...and you suck (you suck!)
We're great (we're great!)...and you suck (you suck!)
You see, there's us (we're great!)...and then there's you (you suck!)

We're really, really great (really great!)
In contrast, you really suck (really suck!)
Okay, full disclosure, we're not that great
But nevertheless...you suck!

Your sports team will soon suffer swift defeat
That theory's backed up by empirical evidence
We're gonna grind up your guys into burger meat
Again, of course, we're speaking in the figurative sense

What's the use of even going through the motions
When ya know that you're gonna lose anyhow?
So why don't you save us all some time
And give...up...now!
(You suck!)

Word Crimes

(parody of "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke f/ T.I. & Pharrell)

Everybody shut up
Everybody listen up
Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey
(Turn me up)

If you can't write in the proper way (lousy writer)
If you don't know how to conjugate
Maybe you flunked that class, and maybe now you find
That people mock you online
Everyboy wise up

Okay, now here's the deal...I'll try to educate ya
Gonna familiarize you with the nomenclature
You'll learn the definitions of nouns and prepositions
Literacy's your mission

And that's why I think it's a good time
To learn some grammar (what?)
Now, did I stammer? Work on that grammar
You should know when
It's "less" or it's "fewer"
Like people who were
Never raised in a sewer
I hate these word crimes
Like "I could care less"
That means you do care, at least a little
Don't be a moron
You'd better slow down
And use the right pronoun
Show the world you're no clown
(Everybody wise up)

Say you've got an I-T followed by aprostrophe S
Now, what does that mean?
You would not use "it's" in this case as a possessive (no, no, no)
It's a contraction (yeah, yeah, yeah)
What's a contraction?
(Well, it's the shortening of a word or group of words by omission of a sound or letter)

Okay, now here's some notes:
Syntax you're always manglin'
No "x" in "espresso"
Your participle's danglin'
But I don't want your drama
If you really wanna,
Leave out that Oxford comma

Just keep in mind that be, see, are, you...
Are words, not letters
Get it together,
Use your spell-checker
You should never
Write words usin' numbers
Unless you're seven, or your name is Prince
(Everybody wise up)
I hate these word crimes
You really need a
Full-time proofreader
You dumb mouth-breather
Well, you should hire
Some cunning linguist
To help you distinguish
What is proper English

One thing I ask of you
Time to learn your homophones is past due
Learn to diagram a sentence too
Always say "to whom"; don't ever say "to who"
And listen up when I tell you this
I hope you never use quotation marks for emphasis
You finished second grade; I hope you can tell
If you're doing good or doing well
Better figure out the difference
Irony is not coincidence
And I thought that you'd gotten it through your skull
'Bout what's figurative and what's literal
Oh, but just now (just now) you said (you said)
You "literally couldn't get out of bed"
That really makes me want to literally
Smack a crowbar upside your stupid head
(Everybody wake up)

I read your e-mail
It's quite apparent
Your grammar's errant
You're incoherent
Saw your blog post
It's really fantastic
That was sarcastic... (aw, psyche!)
'Cause you write like a spastic
I hate these word crimes
(Everybody wise up)
Your prose is dopey
Think you should only
Write in emoji
Oh, you're a lost cause
Go back to pre-school,
Get out of the gene pool
Try your best to not drool

Never mind, I give up
Really now, I give up
Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey...go away

My Own Eyes

(style parody of Foo Fighters)

I saw a baby drive a truck
I saw a junkie eat a tuba
I saw a stripper kiss a duck
Behind a dumpster in Aruba
I saw this fat, psychotic guy
His underwear was made of crickets
He pawned his skeleton to buy
Some old, expired lotto tickets

I saw a naked vagrant
Givin' mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to his cat
I probably could've gone my whole life without seein' that

With my own eyes
I've seen things that'd drive a normal man insane
Wish I could disconnect my brain
From my own eyes

I saw a mime get hacked to death
With an imaginary cleaver
I saw an old man's final breath
I watched him die from Bieber Fever
I saw these diabetic chicks
In an abandoned 7-Eleven
I watched 'em snorting Pixy Stix
While they were belchin' "Stairway To Heaven"

I saw two drag queens tryin' to see how many crackers
They could shove up each other's nose
I'd like to erase my mind completely but I suppose
That's just the way it goes

With my own eyes
I've seen things that'd drive a normal man insane
Wish I could disconnect my brain
From my own eyes (my own eyes)
Those visions haunt my memory
Oh, there's so much I wish I could un-see
With my own eyes

Some priest got drunk and stole a circus zebra
And he trained it to massage his back
My guinea pig committed Hara-Kiri
So we used him to play hacky sack
My neighbor's kids sold weapons-grade plutonium
And frosty, ice-cold lemonade
They took MasterCard and sometimes human organs in trade
That's how we paid
I have to say that it was really darn good lemonade

With my own eyes
I've seen things that'd drive a normal man insane
Wish I could disconnect my brain
From my own eyes (my own eyes)
Those visions haunt my memory
Oh, there's so much I wish I could un-see
With my own eyes
With my own eyes
With my own eyes
With my own eyes

NOW That's What I Call Polka!

(polka medley of various songs by various artists)

["Too Fat Polka" by Arthur Godfrey]
(instrumental section)

["Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus]
We clawed, we chained
Our hearts in vain
We jumped
Never asking why
We kissed, I fell
Under your spell
Of love
No one could deny

Don't you ever say I just walked away
I will always want you
I can't live a lie, running for my life
I will always want you

I came in like a wrecking ball
I never hit so hard in love
All I wanted was to break your walls
All you ever did was wre-e-eck me
Yeah, you wre-e-e-ecked me (Hey!)

["Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People]
All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
You better run, better run
Outrun my gun
All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
You better run, better run
Faster than my bullet

["Best Song Ever" by One Direction]
And we danced all night to the best song ever
We knew every line, now I can't remember
I think it went (glug glug glug)
I think it went (glugeddy glug glug)
I think it goes

["Gangnam Style" by PSY]
Eh eh eh eh eh eh
Eh, sexy lady
(Po-po-po-po-polka Gangnam style)
Eh, sexy lady
(Po-po-po-po)
Eh eh eh eh eh eh eh

["Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen]
(Hey!)
I just met you
And this is crazy
But here's my number
So call me maybe
And all the other boys
Try to chase me
But here's my number
So call me maybe

["Scream & Shout" by will.i.am f/ Britney Spears]
I wanna scream (scream) and shout (hey!)
And let it all out (retch)
And scream (scream) and shout (hey!)
And let it out (fart)
We saying oh wee oh wee oh wee oh
We saying oh wee oh wee oh wee oh wee oh wee oh wee oh

["Somebody That I Used To Know" by Gotye f/ Kimbra]
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

["Timber" by Pitull f/ Ke$ha]
It's going down (Hey!)
I'm yelling "timber!"
You better move
You better dance
Let's make a night
You won't remember
I'll be the one
You won't forget
(Timber!)
(Timber!)

["Sexy And I Know It" by LMFAO]
I'm sexy and I know it
Girl, look at that body
(He's sexy and he knows it)

["Thrift Shop" by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis f/ Wanz]
I wear your granddad's clothes
I look incredible
I'm in this big ol' coat
From that thrift shop down the road
(Hey!)
(He wears your granddad's clothes) That's right!
(He looks incredible) I do!
(He's in that big ol' coat) It's large!
(From that thrift shop down the road) Hey, let's go!

I'm gonna pop some tags
Only got twenty dollars in my pocket
I-I-I'm hunting, looking for a come-up
This is super awesome

["Get Lucky" by Daft Punk]
She's up all night till the sun
I'm up all night to get some
She's up all night for good fun
I'm up all night to get lucky
We're up all night till the sun
We're up all night to get some
We're up all night for good fun
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
Up all night to get lucky

["Mandatory Polka" by Al Yankovic]
Yes, we're up all night to get lucky
(Let's get lucky) Get lucky
(We're gonna get lucky) Get lucky
(Let's all get lucky)
We're up all night to get lucky
(Hey!)

Mission Statement

(style parody of Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, in particular "Suite: Judy Blue Eyes" by Crosby, Stills & Nash)

We must all efficiently
Operationalize our strategies
Invest in world-class technology
And leverage our core competencies
In order to holistically administrate
Exceptional synergy

We'll set a brand trajectory
Using management's philosophy
Advance our market share vis-à-vis
Our proven methodology
With strong commitment to quality
Effectively enhancing corporate synergy

Transitioning our company
By awareness of functionality
Promoting viability
Providing our supply chain with diversity (-versity, ooh)
We will distill our identity
Through client-centric solutions and synergy
Oooh

At the end of the day (at the end of the day)
We must monetize our assets
The fundamentals have changed
Can you visualize a value-added experience
That will grow the businss infrastructure and
Monetize our assets
Monetize our assets
Monetize our assets

Bringing to the table our capitalized reputation
Proactively overseein' day-to-day operations
Services and deliverables with cross-platform innovation
Networking soon will bring seamless integration
Robust and scalable, bleeding-edge and next-generation
Best-of-breed, we'll succeed in achieving globalization

Gaining traction with our resources in the marketplace (do do do do do, do do do do do do, do do do do do, do do do do)
It's mission-critical to stay incentivized (do do do do do, do do do do do do, do do do do do, do do do do)
Our business plan will foster flexible solutions for our customer base (do do do do do, do do do do do do, do do do do do, do do do do)
If you can't think outside the box, you'll be downsized (do do do do do, do do do do do do, do do do do do, do do do do)
It's a paradigm shift...hey, hey! (do do do do do, do do do do do do)
Look out! Well, it's a paradigm shift now (do do do do do, do do do do)
Here it come, here it come, here it come, here it come, ha! (do do do do do, do do do do do do, do do do do do, do do do do)!

Inactive

(parody of "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons)

Ohhh
Ohhh

I'm waking up in Cheeto dust
My belly's covered with pizza crust
I'm using my inhaler now... (breath)
I'm outta shape, fattening up
I'm sipping Coke from a Solo cup
Donut crumbs are upon my lips...whoa

The TV's on, I really hate this show
I can't reach my remote control
Welcome to my new place, to my new place
Sorry it's a cramped space, but it's my place
Whoa, oh whoa, I'm
Really inactive, I'm so inactive
Whoa, oh, whoa, I'm
Really inactive, highly inactive

My muscles gone, atrophied
Always lose my fight with gravity
I'll rest my bones and just chillax...whoa (whoa whoa)
My NordicTrack's collecting dust
And my StairMaster's a pile of rust
This is it, the inertia...whoa

I can't get up, this couch is part of me
I'm growing cobwebs on my knee
Pretty sad for my age, sad for my age
I could break my rib cage here at my age
Whoa, oh, whoa, I'm
Really inactive, yes, quite inactive
Whoa, oh, whoa, I'm
Really inactive, not very active

Near comatose...no exercise
Don't tag my toe...I'm still alive

I'm giving up, my energy is shot
I'm never moving from this spot
Never move from this place, move from this place
I'll stay here in this place, right in this place
Whoa, oh, whoa, I'm
Really inactive, just so inactive
Whoa, oh, whoa, I'm
Really inactive, not so attractive

First World Problems

(style parody of Pixies)

My maid is cleanin' the bathroom, so I can't take a shower
When I do, the water starts gettin' cold after an hour
I couldn't order off the breakfast menu 'cause I slept in till two
Then I filled up on bread, didn't leave any room for tiramisu
Oh no, there's a pixel out in the corner of my laptop screen
I don't have any bills in my wallet small enough for the vending machine
Some idiot just called me up on the phone...what??
Don't they know how to text? OMG! I got...

First world, first world problems (first world problems)
First world, first world problems (first world problems)
First world, first world problems

I bought too many groceries for my refrigerator
Forgot my gardener's name...I'll have to ask him later
Tried to fast-forward commercials...can't, I'm watchin' live TV
I'm pretty sure the cookies in this airport lounge ain't gluten-free
My barista didn't even bother
To make a design in the foam on the top of my vanilla latte

First world, first world problems (first world problems)
First world, first world problems (first world problems)
First world, first world problems

Can't remember which car I drove to the mall
My Sonicare won't recharge
Now I gotta brush my teeth like a Neanderthal

The thread count in these cotton sheets has got me itchin'
My house is so big, I can't get Wi-Fi in the kitchen
Ugh...I had to buy somethin' I didn't even need
Just so I could qualify for free shipping on Amazon

First world, first world problems (first world problems)
First world, first world problems (first world problems)
First world, first world problems (first world problems)
First world, first world problems (first world problems)
First world, first world problems (first world problems)
First world, first world problems

Tacky

(parody of "Happy" by Pharrell Williams)

It might seem crazy, wearin' stripes with plaid
I Instagram every meal I've had
All my used liquor bottles are on display
We can go to see a show, but I'll make you pay...huh

(Because I'm tacky)
Wear my belt with suspenders and sandals with my socks
(Because I'm tacky)
Got some new glitter Uggs and lovely, pink-sequined Crocs
(Because I'm tacky)
Never let you forget some favor I did for you
(Because I'm tacky)
If you're okay with that, you might just be tacky too

I meet some chick, ask her this and that
Like, "Are you pregnant, girl, or just really fat?" (What!?)
Well, now I'm droppin' names almost constantly
That's what Kanye West keeps tellin' me
Here's why

(Because I'm tacky)
Wear my Ed Hardy shirt with fluorescent orange pants
(Because I'm tacky)
Got my new resumé, it's printed in Comic Sans
(Because I'm tacky)
Think it's fun threatening waiters with a bad Yelp review
(Because I'm tacky)
If you think that's just fine, then you're probably tacky too
(Hey, come on, uh)

(Tacky) Bring me shame..can't nothin'
(Tacky) Bring me shame...I never knowed why
(Tacky) Bring me shame...can't nothin'
(Tacky) Bring me shame...I said (hey, tell you now)
(Tacky, tacky, tacky, tacky) Bring me shame...can't nothin'
(Tacky, tacky, tacky, tacky) Bring me shame...it's pointless to try
(Tacky, tacky, tacky, tacky) Bring me shame...can't nothin'
(Tacky, tacky) Bring me shame...I said

(Because I'm tacky)
43 bumper stickers and a "YOLO" license plate
(Because I'm tacky)
Bring along my coupon book whenever I'm on a date
(Because I'm tacky)
Practice my twerking moves in line at the DMV
(Because I'm tacky)
Took the whole bowl of restaurant mints - hey, you said they're free!
(Because I'm tacky)
I'll get drunk at the bank and take off my shirt at least
(Because I'm tacky)
I would live-tweet a funeral, take selfies with the deceased
(Because I'm tacky)
If I'm bit by a zombie, probably not tellin' you, hey hey
(Because I'm tacky)
If you don't think that's bad, guess what? Then you're tacky too
Come on

Jackson Park Express

(style parody of Cat Stevens, in particular "Peace Train")

Tuesday mornin', 8:15
I was ridin' to work on the Jackson Park Express
Seemed like any other day
Then my whole world changed in a way I never could have guessed
'Cause she walked in, oh oh oh
Took the seat right across the aisle
I knew we had a special connection
The second I saw her smile

She smiled as if to say
"Hello...haven't seen you on this bus before"
I gave her a look that said
"Huh...life is funny, you never know what's in store
By the way, your hair is beautiful
I bet it smells like raisins"

She looked at me in a way that asked
"Did you have a nose job or something?
I'm only askin' 'cause your nose looks slightly better
Than the rest of your face"

I arched my eyebrow ever so slightly, which was my way of askin'
"Do you want my old Hewlett-Packard printer?
It still works, kinda
And I got a bunch of ink cartridges left"

Then she let out a long sigh, which I took to mean
"Uh! Mama!
What is that deodorant you're wearin'? It's intoxicating
Why don't we drive out to the country sometime
And collect deer ticks in a Ziploc baggie...aw, yeah"

I gave her a penetrating stare, which could only mean
"You are my answer, my answer to everything
Which is why I'll probably do very poorly
On the written part of my driver's test"

Oh ho hoo wo, ho ho, ho ho, ho ho yes
It all happened on the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express
Oh ho, oh wo

I knew she was startin' to fall for me
'Cause she crinkled her nose, which unmistakably meant
"Baby, let's wear each other's clothes
And speak in a thick German accent
And maybe someday we can own and operate
Our own mobile pet grooming service"

I couldn't hold back my feelings
I gave her a look that said
"I would make any sacrifice for your love
Goat, chicken - whatever
I could never hold you close enough
Let's have our bodies surgically grafted together
Aw...surgically grafted together"

She picked up a newspaper and started reading to herself
Which I'm sure was her way of tellin' me
"When you're cold, I will warm you
Aw...when you're shivering, I will hold you
When you're nauseous, I will give you
Pepto-Bismol every hour for as long as the symptoms persist
Oh, I never, ever wanna see you cry
So please let me cauterize your tear ducts with an arc welder"

Then I glanced down at her shirt for a second
In a way that clearly implied
"I like your boobs"

Aw! Oh ho ho, ho ho, ho ho yes
It all happened on the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express

I cleared my thoat quietly, and then I looked away
And I'm sure it was obvious to her just what I was trying to say
I was tryin' to say
"Hey...I'd like to make a wall-sized mural
Out of all the dead skin cells that you slough off
While you sleep at night
Oh ho, I'd like to rip you wide open...aw
And French kiss every single one of your internal organs
Aw! I'd like to remove all your skin
And wear your skin over my own skin
But not in a creepy way"

Then I'm pretty sure she looked at me
Out of the corner of her good eye
And though she never spoke a word
This is exactly what I heard...she was sayin'
"Aw! I want to make out with you
In an abandoned tollbooth in the middle of a monsoon
I wanna ride dolphins with you
In the moonlight, until the staff at Sea World kicks us out
I want you inside me, oh oh
Like a tapeworm"

I pointed to the side of my mouth as a way of indicating
"Hey, I think you got something on the side of your mouth"
She licked the corner of her lips as if to say, "Here?"
I nodded, implying, "Yeah, you got it"

And then the bus stopped at 53rd St.
And she got up suddenly
"Where are you going?" pleaded my eyes
"Baby, don't ya do this to me
Think of the beautiful children we could have someday
We could school 'em at home, raise 'em up the right way
And protect them from the evils of the world
Like trigonometry and prime numbers
Wo no, baby, please don't go"

She brushed my leg as she left the bus
I'm sure that was her way of sayin'
"I'm sorry, this just isn't working out
You're suffocating me
I need some space to find out what life's all about
So goodbye forever...my love"

And deep inside I knew she was right
It was time for us both to move on

No, I never got her number, aw no no
She never bothered to leave her address
Aw...But as long as I live
I'll never forget those precious moments we shared

Together on the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express


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