Is that recording that?
Ack, quit your complaining!
If I wake up,
Well you know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be the man who wakes up after 2.
When I go out,
Well you know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be the man who doesn't tie his shoes.
When I get up,
Well you know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be the man who's got an aching head.
After breakfast,
Well you know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be the man who goes straight back to bed.
But I could walk 500 miles,
But that would make me too damn tired.
So I'll break down and I'll buy a car
So I can drive to the local bar.
If I'm working,
Well you know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be the man who calls in sick for you.
When I call in,
Well you know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be the man who says he's got the flu.
And my back hurts,
And I'm coughing up some blood,
And when I pee I see my urine's turning blue.
When I stay home,
Well you know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be the man who's watching his cartoons.
And I could walk 500 miles,
But that would make me too damn tired.
So I'll break down and I'll buy a car
So I can drive to the local bar.
I'll be drinking
(He'll be drinking)
You'll be buying
(We'll be buying)
La la la la la la la la la la la.
I'll be smoking
(He'll be smoking)
You'll be choking
(We'll be choking)
La la la la la la la la la la la.
When I'm hungry,
Well you know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be the man who's stopping in on you.
When I'm eating,
Well you know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be the man who eats enough for two.
When I'm thirsty,
Well you know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be the man who drinks down all your brew.
When I'm tired,
Well you know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be the man who's sleeping next to you.
But I could walk 500 miles,
But that would make me too damn tired.
So I'll break down and I'll buy a car
So I can drive to the local bar.
I'll be drinking
(He'll be drinking)
You'll be buying
(We'll be buying)
La la la la la la la la la la la.
I'll be smoking
(He'll be smoking)
You'll be choking
(We'll be choking)
La la la la la la la la la la la.
I could walk 500 miles,
But that would make me too damn tired.
So I'll break down and I'll buy a car
So I can drive to the local bar.
I could walk 500 miles,
But that would make me too damn tired.
So I'll break down and I'll buy a car
So I can drive to the local ba-a-ar.